despised

dɪˈspʌɪz

verb

feel contempt or a deep repugnance for.

he despised himself for being selfish

detest,hate,loathe,abhor,abominate,execrate,regard with contempt,feel contempt for,shrink from,be repelled by,find intolerable,deplore,dislike,scorn,disdain,slight,look down on,pour/heap scorn on,deride,scoff at,jeer at,sneer at,mock,revile,spurn,shun,contemn,disrelish